love and happiness

so for quite a while now i have been hiding in this place where i swear no one can find me. but it seems that there are a lot of people in the same place. im searching for away out and to no light at the end of the tunnel. i feel helpless and insecure i try to find solace in your words and humor but alas that isn't enough to keep me hanging on. i wish you were here.
my life is nuts and its only going to get calmer but until then how long can i go on like this? how long can i sit here and pretend that everything is fine when my blood is so damaged and i sleep alone? where is the easy button? where were you when i needed you the most.

you were taking care of your own life. you were doing what you needed to do for yourself and at that point is when i faded away and didn't matter anymore. id rather be blind boy, then to watch you walk away from me again. i wont go through it. i will remain in this place of solitude where only i exist and where only i know that im searching for something better than you.

all the fishes in the sea couldnt make me see that in the long run im too big for this pond. its all bullshit. im angry and sad and happy all at the same time everyday. i dont think about you as much as everyone thinks and your text messages of wanting to hang out only prove that you are trying to control this situation. i am the one that left, you just made it really easy for me to realize that the grass is greener on the other side. im sick of these games you play.

i dont want to play anymore. i want real life and real happiness and real pure true love.
so if you cant give that to me i dont want anything to do with you.
i'll put my dancing shoes on and dance this heartache away becuase in the end....

I AM THE ONE THAT WON THIS GAME.
though, i don't want to play anymore.
its my favorite one.